During these periods that I call “inflection points” in which I go on the offensive, I always have to isolate so that I am acting alone. I can’t have anyone else taking the blame for my choices, nor can I have anyone else trying to talk me out of stuff, because I’m doing this all by feel.

Honestly, being unemployed and homeless and without medical insurance and unable to enter the county in which your children live makes it easy to want to take risks, you know?

For the first time in this entire endeavor, now that we are on the precipice of Armageddon (metaphorically), I honestly have no idea what to do next.

So, I’m going to ask you all (anyone who wants my information to be used to improve schools)…What would YOU do with the information?

Reporters won’t write the story: Athens Courier? Nope. WAFF? Megan Plotka, where you at? Nope. Sorry, that was the ENTIRE news team that listened to my 20 minute manic rant (repeated at least 4 times to different reporters). Nothing.

Kayode Crown. My man! “There is no way anyone can keep me from doing this story, Jason.” Still waiting on that story. I do not have time to redact names, so if I do it quickly, it will be the “shotgun” method, in which I drop so many names that they won’t be able to punish all of you. The problem is that I promised you all that I would not give up your identity. I’m trying to think what would happen if I opened the 90 pages of emails that I wrote to the DOJ, unredacted.

Would all the teachers and principals feel safe to say “Yes, this was me and this happened, and I would like to go on record?” What would happen if a teacher was punished for giving me truthful but damaging information? What recourse would he or she have? Does the District really have a policy that states, “If you talk about the District negatively and you are not tenured, you can be sent home and terminated?” Because that is that Principal Worshim told M.L. The thing is, I’m tired of holding on to this, because I feel guilty that I’m not doing something.

No kids or teachers are being harmed over break, but the DOJ already has all the files, and despite all the illegal stuff, they did not act. If I give them to the DAC, I don’t trust that it will be used appropriately. This is the problem I’m stuck on currently. For the record, I HATE conflict.

Ironic, huh? I hope everyone has a good Christmas, I just realized it’s in four days. I’ll still be homeless and I still won’t be able to come into Madison County or set foot on any HCS properties.

I don’t want your pity, just know that you all have the luxury of checking on this every few hours. I’m living it. I want off this rollercoaster soon, and I want my peace. But I will NOT abandon the teachers until their voices are heard.

So that’s where I am. I’m going to go lie in bed with the lights on and cuddle two pillows. Talk soon.

i’m lonely and i miss my family and friends